Is It Bad If My Partner and I Fight During Therapy?

by Feb 1, 20230 comments

Everything seems to turn into a fight lately.

Coming home from work late. Dishes in the sink. Not picking up something from the store. Misunderstanding something that was said the day before. Forgetting about an upcoming date on the calendar.

You and your partner seem to fight on a daily basis.

When you first started dating, you never fought. You were on the same page with everything. What changed? You love your partner and they love you, but you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life fighting with one another day in and day out.

You’re considering going to therapy, but you can’t imagine fighting in front of a complete stranger. What will your therapist think if you and your partner end up fighting right in front of them?

Is it really all that bad if you end up fighting with your partner during therapy? Let’s find out!

Is It Okay to Fight During Therapy?

Not only is fighting during therapy completely okay, but it’s also a pretty normal thing to do!

A lack of communication is one of the most common downfalls of a relationship. You and your partner fighting on a regular basis isn’t something that is uncommon, but it’s also something that shouldn’t be left unresolved.

You and your partner won’t be the first couple to have gone to therapy due to fighting and miscommunication. There’s also a good chance you also won’t be the first couple to seek support from your therapist for this topic. Don’t let a fear of fighting keep you from seeking the help and support that you and your partner both deserve.

Fighting During Therapy Can Be Beneficial

Not only is fighting during therapy allowed, but it can also actually be beneficial to your relationship. Fighting during therapy gives your therapist an inside look into your relationship. Since a therapist is an unbiased third party, they’ll be able to work with you and your partner to step back, pause, breathe, and see the other person’s point of view. Meeting with a therapist provides a comfortable, stable, and safe space for both of you to express your thoughts, feelings, and emotions as well as listen to your partner’s.

Fighting during therapy shows that you’re being honest and genuine with your therapist. The point of therapy isn’t to show up as “the best version of yourself.” The only way therapy will work is if you show up as your honest and genuine selves. You can’t expect to fix or resolve anything if you put up a wall and don’t show your true colors. Fighting can be a great way to shed those layers and break down those walls in order to communicate and resolve conflict more effectively down the road.

Next Steps

Fighting during therapy is completely normal. In fact, it’s almost encouraged. Seeking additional support from a therapist may seem like a daunting task initially, but it’s actually a great way to have an outside third party give you insights into your relationship that you and your partner may not have considered before.

Fighting during therapy is a great way for your therapist to get a look inside your relationship and offer better ways for both of you to handle conflict in the future. Fighting during therapy allows your therapist to better understand what miscommunication may be happening in your relationship, which can only help to better resolve this type of conflict in the future.

There’s no need to be ashamed or worried about fighting during a therapy session. Contact us today so we can work with you and your partner to rebuild and strengthen your relationship again.

Click here for more information on couples therapy.